Are Nerds Ruining Cannabis?

The top-rated afternoon sports talk show in the Boston area is Felger and Mazz, in which the hosts make a living by showing up to work and shitting all over everything in the sports world that is good. Mostly the show is just entertaining bad takes, but one thing they tend to be right about are the things ruining sports. Overuse of replay is one, but questioning whether or not nerds are ruining the games (especially baseball) is the one that got me thinking. Thinking not just about whether or not such a modus operandi would work in the Cannabis industry, but whether or not they could be right about nerds destroying our favorite things.

Baseball today is filled with stats that nobody really understands or cares about, yet during every game the announcers drone on and on about them. I talk sports with people all the time, but I have yet to meet a fan that cares about BABIP or launch angles or any of the other new nerd stats. I have followed baseball my whole life, as a child I was obsessed with baseball statistics like many ASD kids, and yet even I could not possibly care less about all of these numbers. And so it happened that all those nerd stats got me thinking about the direction of Cannabis packaging, the tendencies of science, and the general direction legalization appears headed.

I understand that scientific thoroughness is important, but often science does not tend to value nature’s (metaphorical and physical) fruits as nature herself intended. After all, scientists don’t make money by keeping things whole. They break things down into the smallest possible parts and then try to sell packages of those parts back to you at an astronomical price increase. More expensive, less effective, but unfortunately that’s how it all works.

So when you look at a package containing a Cannabis product, all those symbols and percentages make you feel all warm and fuzzy knowing the product has been tested, but what is the real end result here? How many different compounds are in Cannabis that have yet to be studied? How big are these labels going to be when science finally gets the federal OK to run rampant? How many patents will be filed over something that should be public domain? Do I really need to know that there is 26.9% THC Delta-9 but 0.0% Delta-8? Sure, tell me the THC content, even the CBD, but the rest of it is for the birds. I just want to know that it is clean.

There is no time to play the blame game though. You can’t blame people for trying to make money and you can’t blame scientists for doing their jobs. But we can all work to ensure that the shackles of legalization do not end up being worse for the plant than the shackles of Prohibition have been.

Nature knows what she is doing. And while I understand the danger of coming off as the old man yelling at clouds here, that is fine as long as people keep in mind the importance of the whole flower, especially during this critical period as the industry becomes increasingly specialized.

So are nerds ruining Cannabis? Not yet, but keep an earnest watch because they’re gonna try, and it’s not going to be in the best interest of anyone except a few profiteers. 

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